WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
We are ten days shy of Valentine's day. The ads on my different social media platforms keep giving me ideas on gift ideas for “him”. From gadgets to air tickets. My only question is, who came up with this idea? Who made it their work to remind us to love one another? Is it a one-day thing? Did we have to get this one auspicious day to paint the town red and step in the name of love? I don't know but in my opinion, love has less to do with Valentine's day.
I remember the fracas that was valentine day in high school. Being a mixed school, many of us were coupled up hence chocolates, roses, and cards would be exchanged. The amount of pressure for this gift set was so intense, at least for those who'd been claimed. For others, it was just another day in February. I have witnessed first hand heartbreaks from fifteen-year-olds who did not receive flowers from their significant other. Was it the beginning of the end? Had he forgotten? What did I know? As far as I was concerned I needed to focus on my chemistry with Physics and not Ken from Form Four East.
I neither believe in valentines nor do I celebrate it, apart from my religious reasons I have never really seen the need. So on the 14th, I will be busy at work as the hullabaloo continues. The ads on my Instagram will finally realize that I'm very much a wrong target and die down. I will receive a couple of mushy texts from my girlfriends and our single selves will laugh it off. Don't get me wrong I have no qualms with love or lovers but the social construct that love and loved ones should be celebrated in one day.
Let me paint a picture of my Ideal valentine. My ideal valentine's day won't be a day but a lifestyle. One that will celebrate my heterosexual partner to the core.A lifestyle that will break the gender roles, leaning on each other for support whenever needed. It's a lifestyle that does not need one person to rise up to the occasion when dates are mentioned. It is a choice to be or not to be. It is not tied to the different customs that a man or woman should follow. Yes, we will follow whatever roadmap that will comfortably work for us.
My idea of a lover's day is may not be an ideal. It will not be a moment in time or a post on IG with the caption “goals”. It will not be covered in fallacies like you “complete me” as both of us will come to the relationship as wholes rather than halves. My happiness won't be dependant on my partner and vice versa. We will not be Romeo and Julliet neither will we try to live a fairytale. I could write a lot about what it would be like, but one thing that will stand is that my yes will be my yes and my no will retain its status. It's no secret that I will fall short but in my shortcomings, I won't tap out.
Until then Happy Valentine folks don't forget to love your loved ones loudly.