I shared here, that sometimes it is best if you let go of a thing or two in this life. In the blog post, I mentioned that I was letting go of my dream house, the reason being it was way above my budget.
This is still true, the house is still way above my budget but something changed. I took the plunge and paid for it. In fact, as we speak, I am writing this blog from my floating desk that has been patched in the living room. I followed a friends advice and I’m doing it afraid. I’ve put myself out there. Risk-taking has never been my forte. In fact, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t do it at all. I like comfort and the sense of assurance. I thrive in trust and calm so whenever I have to take a big risk, i.e moving cities or getting a new house in a foreign city I shudder. Way after making a decision, the possible repercussions still haunt me. I start creating these worst-case scenarios in my head which will stay on replay for some time. I constantly ask myself, was this the best decision for me? How will it affect me or in this case my finances and to what extent?
I decided to take the house primarily because it is a beautiful haven. With spacious rooms and wide windows that let most if not all of the sunshine inside and at the same time, the coastal breeze. I live on the rooftop, hence the views are nothing short of picturesque. The most beautiful part is the adhan. five times a day, I get to hear the muezzins call to prayer and that really stirs something in me. The house is worth it, In my view. It is the fear that is crippling me. I also took up the house with an intention of becoming a host on Airbnb. I decided to do it afraid and one month later I’m still shaken to my core. I managed to pay rent two days ago and having to witness the dent in my income really broke me. It got me thinking if I was to lose my job which unfortunately is my only source of income, what would become of me? Will I have to take the bus back to shags (rural areas)to my parents? What about the lifestyle that I’m currently enjoying, will I be able to foot it?
This is what is happening behind the scenes. It is what the smiles and the numerous photos on Instagram don’t tell you. It is a sneak peek into what risk-taking especially from a financial standpoint looks like. To be honest, I’m afraid. I’m currently working on getting another source of income. This will not only put my mind at ease but at the same time allay my burden. Until then I’m doing this afraid, one step at a time.