“We regret to inform you that ….”. I have a received a number of emails with the said tone, from fellowships, scholarships and mostly local jobs and internships that I had applied for in the past.I’m immune to them, so much that the feeling no longer lingers in my mind neither does the email in my inbox. Rejection according to Oxford dictionary is the act of pushing someone or something away. The act of alienating or feeling alienated from an individual or people. I grew up in a large black family that accepted me and welcomed everything I had to offer. My family neither minded my size nor my extroverted nature. Primary school was great to a fault. I mingled easily with students from different walks of life with whom I had a great liking for.
Highschool was a tad different. For the first time in my life, I was made conscious of my skin tone, weight and the size of my hair. I attended a mixed school which had a certain set of rules, most of which I could toe easily. It was the thick and light-skinned rules, that I had an issue. It was clear that I was in the wrong space, I thought that this was a school whereby we were only going to cram for the next history examination or better yet learn chemical formulas but I had been proven wrong. I needed to match up to a standard that was completely foreign to yours truly. As mentioned, I was brought up in an African home, with a dad who is 6'3, midnight black and slim, my mom on the other side is a 5'4, plump lady with a dirty brown skin tone. Unfortunately or fortunately for the four of us, we were blessed with melanin in the correct doses.I’m a 5'9, black, skinny girl, I can't change that.
This experience taught me an exorbitant amount of lessons, not everyone will accept you and you need to accept your self first.
First forward to today, I no longer chase acceptance as I’ve come to accept every aspect of myself. I bask in rejections glow and make the most out f what I have. Rejection does not scare me either does it make me quiver, I’m able to look at it straight in the eye and converse. It does not make me question my worth instead it challenges me to be the best version of my self. Rejection to me a pull that we all need, it not only toughens us up but also challenges us to do better.