MAMA
There lies the beauty and a sense of freedom in being an aunt. Having nephews and nieces around you who quickly rush with hands spread wide, ready for mini hugs. Pockets of joy that will forever smile back and peck you. The number of “I lap u’s” (I love you) will be uncountable and when you rock them to sleep, the tots will doze off with your thumb in their little fingers stirring a feeling in you.
But just like Cinderella, the clock strikes 12 and you have to return the package to the sender. It might be because of an unforgiving scream or puck, either way, they go back to their primary parent. The mother. Motherhood. In her poem, lands, Nayirah Waheed says “ My mother was my first country the first place I ever lived” capturing the essence of motherhood and the importance of one.
Motherhood in my view is a selfless experience. A devotion of some sorts, a choice for some and longing for others. I don’t know how it feels to carry life, to bear the storm and bring forth let alone raise and kids grow into full independent adults. I’m also lost when it comes to adopting kids, choosing surrogacy or going through a plethora of IVF sessions in order for one to jump the hurdle, having an angel baby. What I know for sure is that motherhood is precious. It is for lack of a better word, a gift.
I have an exorbitant amount of memories of my mother. She was at some point my class teacher by day and mother at night which meant that she did give me homework and whoop my ass the next day for not completing it. My mother has 4 children and when asked she’ll boldly tell you “I’ll do it all over again” Despite the fact that in my eyes, the four of us denied her some joy, we, in my opinion, took away her dreams. The weird thing is that mom did it anyway. Motherhood for her just as many other women was a one-way ticket and she is all in. A service which was carried out with so much honour.
This mothers day, I would like to say Asante to mum who is now trying to navigate the empty nest. Trying to catch up on her degree with a quest to still chase her dreams for it ain't over until the fat lady sings. I’d like to honour the mums that are have transitioned. They might not be present but they sure do live among us, existing in our day to day whilst guiding our actions. To the new mom nursing a C-section wound, you are “doing alright sweetie”.
To the single mum working multiple jobs, you deserve the world and one day all this will pay off. To the grandmother, who is now mom, we can’t that you enough. To the mom to be, no pressure your time is surely coming. To the mom who chose to adopt, you are a true queen and just because the path was different it doesn't mean that your story is invalid. To the mum who chose to put up their kid for adoption, you have valid reasons and for that we celebrate you. To the rainbow mum, it’s just a matter of time. I’m sure your little angel is watching over you in heaven. To the stepmoms, first of all, kudos for the fashion sense, you are killing it and thank you for graciously taking up this responsibility. Thank you for staying on the course, for taking up the mantle. To the aunt-mom, only you know why and for that, we are forever grateful. To the dad who has to play mom for one reason or the other, keep going.
Unlike aunties like me, mums don’t get to hang their boots. They don’t get to return the package and if you ask any of them, I’m sure the response would be clear. They’d rather have them than anything in the world. This is what motherhood is a true depiction of love that transcends everything and a sacrifice that goes over and beyond. Thank you to all mums, I’d like to make it known that, we see you, we hear you and most importantly we appreciate you. Where I come from we say “endwo khulwa orwo” translated to I’m here because you are here.