HOW WOMEN BREAK.
I am reading a lot. I mean I have the time so I might as well indulge. Being a connoisseur of African authors and their work, I tend to binge on books, articles or blogs of this nature. Last week I decided to go down memory lane. I visited Biko Zulu the blog by our very own Jackson Biko. I scrolled back to the different stories he wrote when his writing was still in its infancy period. When the following was still small and the blog was more of a shed as he used to refer to it. Among the many impeccable stories that he had put on paper was one about how men break. He spoke of his friend who he visits from time to time or whenever his schedule allows. He does not give us reasons no, he just gives us a glimpse of this broken man's lifestyle.
He is a tower and on most days he will be seen entering his house drunk with a woman in tow. Why not women have been empowered today and they can do whatever they want right? They are modern and so are we hence no judgment here. He owns very little, his windows mimick that of basilica open to let not only the sun but also the prying eyes of his neighbors. From the story, I garnered that the manner in which men break is a privileged one. Unlike women, men fall to alcohol or promiscuity. For most women, this is not always the option. The descendants of Eve break differently.
In the book a Good Woman by Danielle Steele, we meet nineteen-year-old Annabelle Worthington who was born into a life of privilege, but everything changed one April in 1912 when the sinking of the Titanic shattered her family, she lost her father and two brothers. Finding strength within her grief, Annabelle pours herself into volunteer work, she would later lose her mother after months of ailing. Leaving her alone in the cold and cruel world.
But her woes were far from over. She gets married to Josiah Millbank, a family friend. Their’s would town out to be an idle marriage now which seemed not to work too well. For Annabelle, everything seemed okay, until it wasn't. Her world turned upside down when her husband's secret surfaced. He opens up to her one evening, he is gay and it all makes sense. They had never consummated their marriage and he was never in a hurry to do it. He kept giving her flimsy excuses, the most common being they had time, lots of it. He files for divorce, which was unheard of for a woman during those times. She not only lost her husband but also her best friend who’s aristocrat of a husband did not want her mingling with a divorcee, “it's not good for the family's image” they’d say.
Betrayed, and pursued by undeserved scandal, Annabelle the divorcee as she is now known in Manhattan, flees New York for war-ravaged France, hoping to lose herself in a life of service. There, in the heart of the First World War, in a groundbreaking field hospital run by women, Annabelle finds her true calling, studying medicine and saving lives. It was during this time in the hospital that she is sexually assaulted by one of the soldiers. The result, a bastard one who she has every intention to keep despite the conditions at hand.
When the war ends, Annabelle begins a new life in Paris–now a doctor, a mother, a young girl who is ready to get back into the dating pool. At first, she encounters some difficulties but finally finds a man she can settle with, all this comes crashing down when she opens up about her daughter. The man no longer acknowledges her. To him, she is a dirty trump who went out was knocked up and that's how her illegitimate child was conceived. She is shattered and closes herself from love, Annabelle focuses solely on her career and motherhood after all life had not been kind for a very long time.
Men just like women tend to get hammered down by life. It is a natural occurrence, it happens to everyone the intensity might be different but it is still felt. Men like Biko's friend tend to break in that manner because they have not been empowered. Wait feminists, before you throw daggers at me. Men might still hold the keys to the C-suite in most firms but when it comes to matters of the heart, you will have to find them at the reception. Women hold each other, they pick each other up for society says so.Perhaps it is time for society to hold men and pick them up as well because we need each other men included to survive.